DJ Dr.Of LOVE's Blog
Two rules you should never forget as you date.
In two words, be yourself; in three words, don’t try too hard. Trying too hard takes a lot of energy, and it doesn’t make sense to invest so much energy in someone when you don’t even know if you’ll still like that person a month later. Remember what you like about you, and trust that anyone who gets to know you will inevitably come to see those same characteristics in you.
Do's of dating
- Do be yourself. There is nothing worse than trying to impress someone by being someone you are not! A great relationship should fit like your most comfortable pair of shoes with ease and without hurt.
- Do be honest. Honesty is the best policy but there is no need to spill your guts out to someone that you have just met. Leave past relationships out of your conversation as well as your family problems. Your date is your date and not your therapist.
- Do meet in a public place. Never bring someone back to your place or go to theirs until you fully get to know them. Make sure they work where they say they work and they are who they say they are. Meet their family and friends in a public setting.
- Do keep your clothes on. Nothing worse then ending up in bed with someone that you do not know and may possibly regret sleeping with. Get to know your partner before you sleep with them and not after!
- Do get to know your dates passions. Although, opposites do attract, there is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who does not share your same passions as well as your hobbies and interests. No two people are exactly alike but if you have more in common than less it makes for a happier relationship.
- Do stay sober: Never go out on a date and drink to excess out of nervousness. It will definitely impair your judgement as well as be a turn off to any healthy date.
- Do give your date space. Healthy relationships are based on trust and love. No one wants a person that is a total cling on. The tighter a person tries to hold on to another the more the other person wants to push away. Space is a must.
- Do understand. If your date is not attracted to you, like you are to them then you must accept their feelings without taking it personal. Remember this goes back to step one and step two. Be yourself and be honest with yourself. If the shoe does not fit comfortably then move on to someone new.
Best wishes and happy dating!
How to know if you have met the right person
Knowing if you have met the right person for you does not happen instantly. It takes months to discover whether or not a person is who they say they are. You cannot really know who a person is until you have conflict and find out what this person does in conflict. Some people can appear very open and loving until a conflict comes up, and then they get angry, withdraw, resist or comply rather than staying open to learning about themselves and the other person. An important question is, “How does this person deal with conflict, and how long does it take them to open up if they do close in the face of conflict?”
Given that none of us enters relationships fully healed, it is very important to know that your partner is willing to explore conflict rather than just protect against it with controlling behavior. Conflict occurs in all relationships, and if both people are not open to learning about themselves and each other within the conflict, the unresolved conflicts will eventually destroy the relationship.
If you are a person who is open to learning and wants a relationship in order to share love, there are three essential ingredients that need to be present for the person to be the right person for you:
There needs to be a basic spark of attraction. If you do not feel physically attracted to this person within the first six months of the relationship, the chances are this attraction will not develop.
- Each of you needs to be capable of caring, compassion and empathy.
- Both of you need to be open to learning in conflict rather than just wanting to win and be right.
Other ingredients, such as common interests and values, are also important, but without the above three ingredients, they will not sustain the relationship.
Shocking death of Avicii
When I turned on my computer the other week to see in the news that Avicii had passed I was devastated! He was so well loved that I wondered how this could have happened? But, with age and his pressures to produce great music came many insecurities that anyone can feel from time to time. Many artists, musicians, producers and just plain folks keep they feelings bottled up and learn to release them in other ways that might not be so healthy such as through alcohol and drug use.
In a society where much of this is acceptable we must teach our children from a early age that it is okay to be yourself without the use of alcohol or drugs. That no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes from time to time. It is okay to fall down and pick yourself back up.
For Avicii music was his passion but performing in front of large crowds of people was not. It brought on insecurities that led him to mask them with alcohol. His problem with alcohol led to medical problems which later led him to take his own life.
We all need someone to talk to from time to time. Someone that we can share our insecurities with and that will listen. Did Avicii have that someone? I do not know the answer to that but I am sure if he did that they would have told him what a beautiful and talented person he really is.
The world is saddened by his tragic death and I hope we can all take this as a lesson to make a change for the better in our world and be a good listener to those that need a shoulder to lean on. Or, if necessary, an intervention to confront addiction.
I just recently had a friend tell me that they are taking their time with their new relationship. That they are only putting their tippy-toes in the water of their new love interest and do not want to get too involved.
My question is how is it that a person can only put their tippy-toes in the water of a relationship when they have already slept with their love interest before they have really got to know them?
Also, have they discussed this matter with their new love interest or do they just assume that they are on the same page?
Whatever level you are at with the new person in your life it should always be clear and concise what your intentions are right from the get go instead of waiting until it is too late to make your intentions known.
I can't say enough on the subject of how people should really get to know one another before the take the plunge of sleeping together.
I know that is sounds boring and unspontaneous but better to feel love for your new love interest than to feel regret.
HEADING TO VEGAS?
With so many things to do in Las Vegas it is hard to know just which place is the best when it comes to nightlife. One of my favorite spots to hang out is the XS Nightclub. Laid out in a beautiful setting at the Encore Resort, the club consists of an indoor area and an outdoor area that surrounds the pool under the desert sky. The XS Nightclub is a fun place and has a great line up of famous Dj's. You can dance the night away inside the Club or outside near the pool. Certain evenings they offer nightswim. Make sure you check out their calendar of events and Dj's. XS Club Events Our last time there we danced until 4 am to the music of David Guetta. Thanks David for such a damn good time! It was a blast! Avoid long lines and get your tickets ahead of time. You can purchase your tickets at Wantickets. XS also has cabanas for rent and bottle service which means you can rent a table for your party group. The Club starts moving at 10 pm and usually Dj's make their entrance around 1 am and stay until 4 amWith so many things to do in Las Vegas it is hard to know just which place is the best when it comes to nightlife. One of my favorite spots to hang out is the XS Nightclub. Laid out in a beautiful setting at the Encore Resort, the club consists of an indoor area and an outdoor area that surrounds the pool under the desert sky. The XS Nightclub is a fun place and has a great line up of famous Dj's. You can dance the night away inside the Club or outside near the pool. Certain evenings they offer nightswim. Make sure you check out their calendar of events and Dj's. XS Club Events Our last time there we danced until 4 am to the music of David Guetta. Thanks David for such a damn good time! It was a blast! Avoid long lines and get your tickets ahead of time. You can purchase your tickets at Wantickets. XS also has cabanas for rent and bottle service which means you can rent a table for your party group. The Club starts moving at 10 pm and usually Dj's make their entrance around 1 am and stay until 4 am. So have fun and party safe.So have fun and party safe. Watch David Guetta, Play Hard.
SHOULD YOU HOOK UP AT THE CLUB?
SHOULD YOU HOOK UP AT THE CLUB?
Your out with friends and having the time of your life. It's the lights, the music, the alcohol and the endless amount of attractive people running loose but should you hook up at the club? The answer is: probably not, unless you do not mind waking up and singing the blues.
Many times after a night fueled with fun and alcohol everything looks different in the light of day. Then there is that awkward moment of, "What the hell was I thinking and how do get myself out of this situation?"
If you see someone that looks interesting and you both take a liking to one another then get their phone number and meet up with them for lunch if not the next day then later in the week.
Not very spontaneous but sure beats the hell out of wanting to chew off your arm the next morning to make an exit stage right!
DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH A SCAMMER!
LIKE THE SAYING GOES IN DESIDERATA," MANY FEARS ARE BORN OF FATIGUE AND LONELINESS."
MANY PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF BEING LONELY AND SOME WILL GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS. THEY JUMP INTO RELATIONSHIIPS WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW A PERSON FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND LATER WIND UP FEELING USED.
IN A PERFECT WORLD WE WOULD JUST BE ABLE TO TAKE A PERSONS WORD AT FACE VALUE. THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS; WE DO NOT LIVE IN A PERFECT WORLD AND NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO PLAY FAIR.
SOME PEOPLE SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES CONNING OTHERS INSTEAD OF TAKING THAT ENERGY AND USING IT TO MAKE AN HONEST LIVING.
THEY BECOME VERY SKILLED AT WHAT THEY DO BECAUSE THEY HAVE DONE IT COUNTLESS TIMES.
MANY OF THESE SKILLED CONS BEGIN TO GROOM THEIR PREY BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY START EXTRACTING MONEY OR MATERIAL POSSESIONS FROM THEM.
THEIR MODUS OPERANDI IS USUALLY SHOWERING YOU WITH TOTAL LOVE, AFFECTION AND GIFTS UNTIL YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF YOUR PRINCIPLES.
IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP THAT SEEMS TO BE STARTING OFF AT A WHIRLWIND PACE THEN YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND SLOW IT DOWN. LET YOUR NEW LOVE INTEREST KNOW THAT YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE PACE AND WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOUR TIME AT GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER.
MAKE SURE YOU MEET THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND FIND OUT IF WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE IS WHO THEY REALLY ARE.
AFTERALL, TRUE LOVE TAKES TIME TO GROW AND RARELY HAPPENS OVERNIGHT. IF YOUR NEW LOVE INTEREST DOES NOT LISTEN TO YOUR CONCERNS AND CONTINUES ON THE SAME COURSE THEN THAT IS A RED FLAG FROM THE BEGINNING.
IF THE PERSON YOU ARE SEEING STARTS TELLING YOU ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS AND MONEY WOES THEN THAT IS A SECOND RED FLAG.
NO ONE NEEDS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY ARE PARENTING THEIR PARTNER. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE MEANT TO HAVE AN EQUAL RESPONSIBLITY.
IF THE PERSON YOU ARE SEEING STARTS TO ASK YOU TO BORROW MONEY, YOUR CAR, OR ANYTHING ELSE OF VALUE THEN THAT IS A THIRD RED FLAG.
SHOULD YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF IN THIS SORT OF SITUATION ,THEN I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU JUST DON'T JUST WALK AWAY FROM THIS RECIPE FOR DIASATER BUT RATHER YOU SHOULD RUN!
An Awesome Interview with Dj Kali and guitarist Nick McMahan from Girl On Fire Band
Listen to Dj Kali in his one on one interview with Nick McMahan from the Alternative Rock Band based out of Seattle, Washington Girl On Fire band. Girl On Fire has received national attention with the release of their debut record Not Broken, Check out the interview on Gravityradiox.com! Click here.